At last, the City of Turlock has broken ground on a long-desired bowling alley for the citizens of Turlock.
“People have been asking for this for a while,” said newly-appointed Bowling Alley Czar John Swift. “Really, it was time for the City of Turlock to start listening to the people.”
Initial sketches depict a modest 30-lane bowling alley, located near Monte Vista Crossings. Large, oversized bowling pins will adorn the front entrance of the development, to be known as “Uppdiktad Lanes” in honor of Turlock’s Swedish heritage.
For decades, Turlockers have called on the City of Turlock to build them a bowling alley. Opposition to the City of Turlock’s long-held strategy of building only Mexican restaurants, fast-food, and dollar stores has been growing.
Out of excuses at last, the City of Turlock decided to act.
“Lately, we decided that Turlock should do something for the children, you know, other than all of the youth sports, arts classes, and rec programs we offer,” Swift said. “Shame that it took this long, really.”
City officials say the development will also include a Trader Joe’s and a Whole Foods Market.
“We figured, ‘Why not, right?’” Swift said.
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Looks like this is a fun little April Fools joke…. a Whole Foods in Turlock? Yeah, right.
Nice one, had me going for a bit!
what we also nedd is a new modern Movie theater like an AMC or REGAL.
April fools!!
Yay!!! It’s about time!!!
This is much more worth it than the Carnegie arts center or the ths football turf the city wasted money on!
This is a mean April fools joke!!!
This is why TCN is the (*edited by tcn)!
I will believe it when I see it!
Just realized today is April Fools day. You fooled me.
I was excited for a minute.
where will this be located? along with a trader joe’s and whole foods?
April Fools!
i’ll believe it when i see it where is the new bigger and better skate park the city said it was building at donnelly?
Can’t believe y’all are falling for this April Fools hole.
Can’t believe y’all are falling for this April Fool’s joke.
“Opposition to the City of Turlock’s long-held strategy of building only Mexican restaurants, fast-food, and dollar stores has been growing.”
‘Turlock’ can’t decide what kinds of businesses open up. They can zone certain areas, but they can’t discriminate by business type. Not legally anyway. There are a lot of Mexican restaurants because of market demand. Get it together TCN.
This would be so nice. Great for all thr kids. to good to be true lets cross our fingers.
April Fools
I cant believe your readers!
They know what time it is dont they?
What is the date today?
We cant stop building Mexican restaurants. We need more. Maybe spanish restaurants we will build next…..
Its April fools fools. the city of Turlock doesn’t build for we the people….. They only want tax money from mexican restraunts not fun stuff….. they would first have to have someone take 200 thousand dollars to do some research to see if people in turlock would like to bowl, and then after all the fees they pay to outside companies to do research they have no cash left to build (*edited by tcn)
Newly appointed bowling alley czar?
We’re not all rubes here.
April fools indeed, hit us where it hurts!
I call April Fool. What do I win? Free bowling shoe rentals?
This is an April Fool’s joke. Of course.
swedish to English
uppdiktad
Translations
uppdiktad Modifier
uppdiktad, (fingeraduppdiktatpåhittatfiktivt)
fictitious, Adj
fictive, Adj
imaginary, Adj
invented, Mod
Love the name. Happy 4-1.
Where is the Trader Joes and Whole Greens going?
Such a mean April fools joke to get peoples hopes up!! LAME
It’s called an April Fools joke people… Not really happening!
What day is it people. April 1ST, otherwise known as?
april fools
This is obviously an April fools article, how many news sources do, or google…very clever. Lol people thinking that everything they’ve ever wanted was all dropped on the same day…next time look at the date before making yourself look silly by believing such articles on April 1 and commenting. Haha
Prettyyyy sure it’s an April Fools’ trick guys…
Great name! Happy 4-1
If you sound out all the syllables in “orange” it sounds like “gullible.”
Turlock had a bowing alley a long time ago. Obviously it wasn’t that popular.
This and the water park and the golf course are all being built this year by the city? I thought they didn’t have money and need to raise water rates and taxes to fix roads. This is why John Lazar and Amy Bublak need to go!
Tcn has the best reporters that make this my main source for breaking news.
I saw Alex on Facebook though and I think he needs a new picture.
I love that you’re planning on these great additions to Turlock. Three thumbs up from me!!!
Sounds like an april fools joke. They didn’t mention a location for the bowling alley. Plus whole foods and trader Joes are very unlikely…good one, almost had me.
Haha. April fools!
It’s sad that so many commentors are unable or unwilling to realize an April Fools’ joke when they see one, and instead use it as a means to attack others or things they dislike. Grow up, people.
Great April Fool’s joke!
April fools the name means fictitious lanes
Too bad it’s not really happening… very good joke.
Not impressed! I had my hopes up and thought that it must be real that we’re finally getting some decent stores that families need such as Whole Foods, Trader Joes and as a bonus – a bowling alley. We desperately need some whole foods type stores. Turlock needs to get it together! 🙁
This site sucks!
And who thought of using Jonathan Swift as the fictitious spokesperson? Very funny Alex!
Long Awaited??? There use to be one in town and they closed it down. Why close it if everyone wants one lol. Also the name.. UH i didn’t know there was swedish heritage here. I have seen ZERO sign of swedish people here. The name is hard to pronounce so thats not good. On a plus side. I DO miss the old bowling alley so i will enjoy taking my kids to this one.
Dj’s immaturity with blogs like this doomed this website.
We see now that it caught up with him and how the Turlock Journal is the more respected newspaper in town.
Thankfully this is over.