At last, the City of Turlock has broken ground on a long-desired bowling alley for the citizens of Turlock.
“People have been asking for this for a while,” said newly-appointed Bowling Alley Czar John Swift. “Really, it was time for the City of Turlock to start listening to the people.”
Initial sketches depict a modest 30-lane bowling alley, located near Monte Vista Crossings. Large, oversized bowling pins will adorn the front entrance of the development, to be known as “Uppdiktad Lanes” in honor of Turlock’s Swedish heritage.
For decades, Turlockers have called on the City of Turlock to build them a bowling alley. Opposition to the City of Turlock’s long-held strategy of building only Mexican restaurants, fast-food, and dollar stores has been growing.
Out of excuses at last, the City of Turlock decided to act.
“Lately, we decided that Turlock should do something for the children, you know, other than all of the youth sports, arts classes, and rec programs we offer,” Swift said. “Shame that it took this long, really.”
City officials say the development will also include a Trader Joe’s and a Whole Foods Market.
“We figured, ‘Why not, right?’” Swift said.